sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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