Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
