the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
