Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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