I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
