Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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