Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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