they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
