3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
jump out the window naked night went bad
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
