WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
