I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
