He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
