I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We don't watch enough power rangers
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
