my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
