It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
