Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
