Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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