I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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