I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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