i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
honey bunches of taint.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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