we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
