The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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