Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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