Taylor Swift is so right about you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
