i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
