"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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