I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
