I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
