Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
