I wish they made helmets for livers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
