so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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