Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
