I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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