so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
