Pappa wants mamma naked
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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