when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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