OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
