A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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