I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
