Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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