I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
