Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
