Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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