If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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