Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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