I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
