It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
