Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize