how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize