She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
