How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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