i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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