But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
