marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
