My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
