me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
