i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
