And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize