They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
