Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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