sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
