I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
