He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize