i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
